How to Tell an Employee They're Not Ready for a Promotion (And Actually Help Them Get There)

I know plenty of people who think they're ready to be promoted. The only problem? Their bosses disagree. I know this not because their bosses told them so, but because their bosses haven't promoted them yet.

Actions speak louder than words, right?

Some leaders avoid the topic altogether, while others make promises that remain unfulfilled month after month as their employees stay in stagnant seats with an ever-growing chip on their shoulders. The employee can't figure out why they aren't being promoted, while the manager can't figure out why in the world the employee thinks they're ready in the first place.

You might not like what I'm about to say, but I'm going to challenge you to self-reflect.

In most cases, this kind of disconnect between an employee and their leader is a leadership shortcoming.

I get it—most of us shy away from conversations where we might make someone feel bad or inadequate. Instead, we give feedback that's just vague enough to say we did it without hurting anyone's feelings. The problem with vague feedback is that it's also confusing and worthless to the person receiving it. Your employees have exactly a 0% chance of improving if you never tell them why what they're doing isn't working.

If they don't understand what's holding them back from that next promotion, that's a communication failure on your part.

Not being promoted when you think you're deserving is frustrating. But what makes the experience even more frustrating is working for a boss who can't—or won't—articulate why you're not ready, or what you need to start or stop doing. With performance conversations coming up, let's do our teams a collective favor and get specific.

Pinpoint the gaps

As a leader, you have something your employees don't: perspective. You know what it takes to be successful at the next level and what they're missing. They don't—and that's not a character flaw, it's just where they are.

Once you've established what they need to demonstrate, it's time to help them get there. Think of yourself as their coach. Your job is to meet them where they are, see things from their perspective, and help them figure out how to adjust what they're doing to achieve better outcomes.

Building a development plan starts by comparing their current role against the future role, identifying the gaps, and pinpointing the on-the-job experiences that would be most beneficial in closing them. Sometimes it's not even about closing a gap—it's about giving someone the chance to demonstrate a competency they already have. Because sometimes we assume someone can't do something only because we haven't seen them do it. And why haven't we seen them do it? Because we've never let them try.

Develop a roadmap

Select the experiences that will be most beneficial through the lens of urgency and importance—focus on what someone in that next role would need to do well, and work backward from there.

A few examples to spark your thinking:

A recruiter who wants to be a recruitment manager needs to demonstrate the ability to push back on hiring managers. Have them shadow you the next time you have that kind of conversation, then let them own the next one.

A financial analyst who wants to be a finance manager needs to demonstrate proficiency building a budget. Have them shadow you in your next budget-planning meeting, then own a small portion of the budget in the next cycle.

A programmer who wants to become a lead needs to demonstrate interpersonal skills and the ability to guide a team. Have them manage an intern over the summer.

The fact of the matter is that you won't know what your team members can do until you give them the chance to try.

Course-correct along the way

Experiential learning is fundamentally dynamic. Some things will go well, and others won't—that's expected. The best managers coach in real time, asking questions rather than giving directives.

Try these:

  • How do you think that went?

  • What went especially well?

  • What didn't go so well that you want to work through for next time?

  • What would you do differently?

Hold yourself accountable

There is nothing more demotivating than being told what you need to do to get promoted, doing those things, and still not getting promoted. Don't be this boss.

Go to bat for your people. Advocate for them even when it's inconvenient. That's your job as a leader. If you don't, don't be surprised when they accept an offer from a competitor—because if you don't show them this basic level of respect, eventually they will. It's only a matter of time.

If the issue isn't about promotion readiness but about performance that genuinely isn't meeting the bar, that's a different conversation. Here's how to have it without making it worse.

A note for founders reading this: If you're a founder who ended up here because you're the one navigating promotion conversations—because there's no one else to navigate them—that's a signal worth paying attention to. Here's how to know when your startup actually needs dedicated HR support.

Ready to talk through whether fractional HR is the right fit for your company? Book a free consultation with me here.

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How to Tell an Employee They're Not Meeting Expectations (Without Making It Worse)

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How the Best Bosses Coach Their Teams (3 Questions That Work)