How to Tell an Employee They’re Not Meeting Expectations

I don’t like telling employees they’re not doing a good job any more than I like being told that I am not doing well. Delivering this news is arguably the worst part of being a team leader. Eventually, the time will come when someone on your team isn’t pulling their weight, and you will be faced with a choice. You can choose to ignore it, compensate for it, work around it, and accept the toll it will take on the broader team’s morale, or you can opt to have the tough conversation.

Spoiler alert — the former always ends up being more damaging than the latter.

As an HR Manager, I have coached plenty of fellow business leaders having these discussions with their employees. The first time I had to put one of my direct reports on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), it was suddenly a much more difficult conversation for me to imagine having. The temptation to ignore it and hope it went away was very real.

Why? Because it feels so much more personal when it’s your direct report.

Looking back, this was an exercise critical to my evolution as a leader. Having one of these conversations myself afforded me a deeper appreciation for how difficult it is. It made me a more compassionate HR partner to the managers I supported.

When someone on your team is not performing up to expectations, I recommend the following tips for having this difficult, albeit necessary, conversation.

Give specific examples of missed expectations

The worst thing you can be in a performance conversation is vague because this leaves room for assumptions. You should strive to get as specific as possible with what your team member did or did not do that failed to meet expectations. Almost obnoxiously specific. Dates, times, quotes, etc., are all helpful reference points to include.

• “On Monday, 11/30, the sales figures you presented in our weekly review meeting were not accurate.”

Speak in terms of ‘worries’

The ‘Brag, Worry, Wonder, Bet (BWWB)’ framework from Steve King is one of my favorite ways to structure feedback. King says, “When we worry about someone, it is because we care. And when we express this worry out loud, it is a gesture of caring.” From the employee’s perspective, hearing their boss is worried about something they’ve done is a much less threatening approach to feedback.

• “On Monday, 11/30, the sales figures you presented in our weekly review were not accurate and I’m worried that this reflected poorly on our team’s credibility.”

Highlight the implications of their performance

In all likelihood, you’re addressing something your team member is or is not doing because it has implications for other people, work, or results. But, in fairness, your team member may not have a full appreciation of these implications. Laying it out for them may help them both understand why change is imperative and motivate them to take the steps necessary to correct it.

• “On Monday, 11/30, the sales figures you presented in our weekly review were not accurate and I’m worried that this reflected poorly on our team’s credibility. This could negatively impact senior leadership’s confidence in our team’s effectiveness at a time when headcount is already being scrutinized and potentially eliminated.”

Outline what ‘meeting expectations’ looks like

Sometimes employees don’t have a good idea of what ‘good’ looks like. They understand that whatever they did or didn’t do did not meet your expectations, but have you told them what would have?

• For example, “Next time you present sales figures, my expectation is that everything will have been double or triple-checked in advance of the meeting so that all figures are reported accurately.”

Confirm understanding — and then confirm again

Because “the single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Be sure that the employee can articulate a firm understanding of what they should be doing differently when similar situations present themselves in the future.

• For example, “What are some actions that you think you could do differently next time to make sure everything is accurate?”

Acknowledge the psychology of the moment

Let me be frank — the second an employee hears they’re being put on a performance improvement plan, they will not fully hear anything else you say in that meeting. They just won’t. It’s an emotional conversation, and it’s hard for any of us to think clearly when we’re flooded with emotions. Have the conversation, but also have all of your examples and expectations outlined in a document that the employee can take with them to review when they’re not overwhelmed by emotion.

Check-in the next day

Set the expectation that you want to revisit the conversation with them tomorrow, once they’ve had time to process all of the information you’ve shared with them. It shouldn’t be a re-hashing of the original conversation. Still, it should give the employee a chance to ask clarifying questions once they’ve calmed down and can think more clearly.

Ask how you can best support them

Yes, it is their responsibility to remedy the situation, but you should be alongside them for support as their leader. Frankly, it’s in the best interest of everyone involved that your employee embraces the feedback and turns things around. The alternative is that they’re out of a job, and you’re stuck recruiting for someone that you have to then train from the ground up. No one wins.

• “What do you need more or less of from me to be successful?”

Giving tough feedback is never fun. Sometimes there will be tears, and that’s okay. After all, this is someone’s career we’re talking about. The tears will not hurt you. Trust me — if they could — I’d be a goner by now.

Remember that your employee has exactly a 0% chance of improving if you never tell them that what they’re doing is unacceptable. You owe it to them as their boss to increase those odds.

Sometimes the employee will improve, and other times they will not. In my case, the first employee I put on a PIP also ended up being the first person I had to ultimately fire.

It won’t always work out, but at least you will know you gave that person the very best chance to succeed.